I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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