I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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