Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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