Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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