Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
