here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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