No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
