My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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