It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We need to get me chipped asap
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
