We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
