Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
