She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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