it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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