You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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