umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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