In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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