I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
