I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
