I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
