Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's rum buckets o'clock
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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