before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
