Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
