no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
