What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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