Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
found the other keg... it's in the tree
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
