if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I cannot find my penis.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
