evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
