Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
