A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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