yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
