i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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