Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
