Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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