Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize