i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize