Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
