You really coming over, don't trick.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
