whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
