I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize