k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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