you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
