She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
