i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
