OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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