She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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