I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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