Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
