We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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