Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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