Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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