she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
