honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
