im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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