a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize