He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i think i have two assholes
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
