I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
