his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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