dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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