Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
