We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
