I never want to see another naked old woman again.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
