i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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