Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
