these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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