Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
