Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
