just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
