Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
