i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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