mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
